Whiskey
by IceBlueRose
Summary: Whiskey was all there was to soothe the pain.


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They belong to Joss. The song is _Whiskey Lullaby_ by Brad Paisley and Allison Krauss.

A/N: I didn't make this about a specific couple. So, you the reader get to choose who this is about, though I suppose depending on which couple you want it to be, this could be considered an AU. But this was just a one-shot that wouldn't leave me alone because the song (which I pretty muchstuck to with the plot)had been stuck in my head. Andalso to keep myhand in when it comes to writing for Buffy since I haven't updated my other story in forever. Which I will change. Anyway, like I said, I leave thepairing to you! Read, enjoy, and please review!

* * *

A smile crossed his face as he walked up the steps towards the house. He couldn't wait to see her. His steps sped up to a jog and the smile turned to a grin as he headed upstairs. He hadn't seen her in what seemed to be like forever. Every day that he didn't see her seemed to drag by.

Today was it. The big day. He was going to ask her to marry him. They'd already been together for a few years now. His hand moved to slip into his pocket and gripped the small box in there. He couldn't believe the nerves that he was feeling. He didn't think it was possible to be this nervous. But she was the one thing that he could get nervous about, no matter what. He took a deep breath as he walked up to her door. It was closed, but that had never stopped either of them. He let out one last breath and pushed open the door to walk in.

He froze at the sight in front of him.

Sheets gathered and then fell, displaying the skin that he'd once trailed his fingers over the way that another man was now doing. Skin slid against skin and he felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach. No, he thought that it would be more accurate to say that he felt as if his heart had just been ripped out.

This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. She wouldn't. She wouldn't do this to him.

And then she looked up and saw him in the doorway. Shock and regret flickered over her face. He saw her open her mouth to say something and he shook his head, eyes reflecting the betrayal, rage, and hurt that he felt before he turned and left.

* * *

The burning sensation of the whiskey going down his throat soothed him as he tipped the glass towards his lips once more. It'd been months, almost a year, since he'd left. Just left without trying to fight back for the first time in his life. A bitter laugh tried to escape as he thought of what it had been like to walk in and see the shock on her face. Oh, there had been regret. But whether it had been regret for what she'd done or regret because she'd been caught, not even he could say.

And now, despite the others' insistence, the whiskey was the only real friend he had left since he'd cut himself off from the others. It was an effort to get them to stop caring, to leave him alone, and so far it wasn't working. Soon, it wouldn't matter either way.

_She put him out_

_Like the burning end of a midnight cigarette._

_She broke his heart_

_He spent his whole life trying to forget._

_We watched him drink his pain away,_

_A little at a time._

_But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind_

_Until the night_

_He put that bottle to his head_

_And pulled the trigger_

_And finally drank away her memory._

_Life is short but this time it was bigger_

_Than the strength he had to get up off his knees._

_We found him with his face down in the pillow,_

_With a note that said, "I'll love her 'til I die."_

_And when we buried him beneath the willow,_

_The angels sang a whiskey lullaby._

The hallway was dark as he began to walk down, his steps determined. This was it. Today, he was going to get him to leave the room if he had to drag him outside. It wouldn't be easy, but this was his best friend that he was talking about. And he'd never seen him like this. So quiet, depressed. It wasn't good for him and he was going to do something about it.

He faltered outside the door. He didn't know why, but something inside him was telling him that he shouldn't go in there. The temptation to turn and walk away almost overwhelmed him before his face became determined once more. No, he wasn't going to walk away from this. He lifted his hand and knocked hard. He didn't see the point really. No matter who it was that knocked on the door, it was never answered. Shaking his head a bit, he pushed open the door, opening his mouth to let loose a sarcastic remark that would hopefully get a response and stopped, freezing at the sight before him.

His best friend lay face down on the bed, unmoving, a note clenched tightly in his hand.

His best friend was dead.

_La, la, la, la, la, la_

_La, la, la, la, la, la_

_La, la, la, la, la, la_

The funeral had been torture. Standing there, knowing that the man she loved was inside that box being lowered into the cold ground. She'd felt the stares, heard the whispers, seen the curiosity in the eyes of anyone she spoke to.

She answered none of it.

The guilt of what one mistake had done, had cost her, began to eat away at her insides. The memories assaulted her, plaguing her when she was awake and when she dreamed. She saw him when she closed her eyes, heard his voice and his laughter, and wept bitterly knowing that she would never again see him. She wept bitterly, knowing that she had no one to blame but herself. On the street, she'd seen a man who had carried himself with as much confidence as her lover once had and she'd almost run after him.

She hadn't of course. She knew that once she turned him around that he wouldn't be the man she wanted to see.

They never were.

_The rumors flew._

_But nobody knew how much she blamed herself._

_For years and years,_

_She tried to hide the whiskey on her breath._

_She finally drank her pain away,_

_A little at a time._

_But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind,_

_Until the night_

_She put that bottle to her head_

_And pulled the trigger_

_And finally drank away his memory._

_Life is short but this time it was bigger_

_Than the strength she had to get up off her knees._

_We found her with her face down in the pillow,_

_Clinging to his picture for dear life._

_We laid her next to him beneath the willow_

_While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby._

The sun was just beginning to set as they walked up the steps and knocked on the front door. It'd been too long since they'd seen her. They'd watched her grieve. They'd watched her drown her sorrows. And they'd watched her chase after men that she had hoped would fill the void he'd left behind. It never worked.

It never would.

With a sigh, they walked in once they discovered that the door was unlocked. Each of them checked around downstairs before meeting at the bottom of the steps. The young woman looked over at the young man.

"I'll go. I think she'd be more likely to talk to me. Just because, you know, girl stuff. I think." Her voice was quiet as she said this, almost as if she were afraid that she might be heard. He nodded.

"Go on. I'll wait for you down here."

She climbed the stairs slowly and headed straight for the bedroom. She knew that's where she'd be. It's where she always was when she got like this.

Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door and waited. When there was no response, she frowned and pushed open the door.

And there she was. Laying on the bed, his picture clutched tightly in her hand, her eyes unseeing.

Dead.

_La, la, la, la, la, la_

_La, la, la, la, la, la_

_La, la, la, la, la, la_

They gathered there to bury her next to the man that she had betrayed and lost, the man that she had continued to love through it all. They grieved, knowing that two of their closest friends were lost to them because of something that seemed to have happened so long ago.

_La, la, la, la, la, la_

_La, la, la, la, la, la_

The day that they buried her was sunny and it seemed wrong that on such a day the sun would shine. The sorrow that they felt would fade with time though it cut them to think that each of these people that they had buried had died before giving it a chance to fade. Before they'd had a chance to move on or reconcile.

Before they'd had a chance.

_La, la, la, la, la, la_

_La, la, la, la, la, la_

_La, la, la, la, la, la_

And only a few feet away, two lost souls found peace with each other once again.

In death, they found what they'd never been able to in life.


End file.
